WHEN YOU FEEL RESENTFUL
How to Deal with How You Feel – P3
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
THE ROOTS OF RESENTMENT
UNRESOLVED HURT OR ANGER
“In your anger, do not sin.” Ephesians 4:26
UNFORGIVENESS
Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35)
JEALOUSY
“Jealousy is like cancer in the bones.” Proverbs 14:30
PRIDE AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
THE COST OF RESENTMENT
A. SPIRITUAL CONSEQUENCES:
Resentment blocks our relationship with God
(Jesus) “… If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (MSG)
Resentment grieves the Holy Spirit
“Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart…” Ephesians 4:30 (MSG)
B. EMOTIONAL CONSEQUENCES
stress and restlessness
become bitter and cynicism
Isolation and loneliness
emotionally fatigue, no joy and no real social connection
C. MENTAL CONSEQUENCES
mental stress-anxiety-irritability-difficulty concentrating
impairment in decision making, problem solving, and emotional regulation
memory problems and cognitive decline
D. RELATIONAL CONSEQUENCES
emotionally distant, withdrawn and detached
hypersensitive and over reactive towards others
stuck and unable to move on
THE CURE TO RESENTMENT
A. ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT
“This isn’t the neighborhood bully mocking me—I could take that.
This isn’t a foreign devil spitting invective—I could tune that out. It’s you! We grew up together! You! My best friend! Those long hours of leisure as we walked
arm in arm, God a third party to our conversation.” Psalm 55:12-14 (MSG)
“… I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” Psalms 32:5 (NLT)
B. CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
“… Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing…” Luke 23:34 (NIV)
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
“… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive you.” Matthew 6:14-15
C. ENTRUST JUSTICE TO GOD
“Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:19
D. CHOOSE HUMILITY AND LET GO OF PRIDE
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 (NLT)
“And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” James 4:6 (NLT)
E. PUT ON LOVE AND COMPASSION
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
“Bear with each other and forgive one another… And over all these virtues put on love, which binds all of them in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:13-14 (NIV)